It's A New Day

Good morning, and welcome to our blog. So glad you decided to join us today. Once again, the Adkins half of our team is leaving this week’s post up to me, S. J. Wells, as she is completing a college course. So, buckle up, because there just might be an excerpt for you to read.

Last week, we interviewed Maria Morais, and something she said sparked a thought. Why do we tend to believe that our lives would be better, if only… Plug in your own circumstances, here.

Maria Morais said, “I strongly believe that if I could have my sight back, my life would be different but certainly not better.”

The phrase, ‘If only” is laced with poison. If only I could see, life would be perfect. If only I could walk, I would be happy. If only I could hear, I wouldn’t miss out on so much. Repeating “if only” over and over leaves little time for learning to thrive in the here and now.

I once read a quote that stuck with me, although I know not from where it came. “History is a different country,” it said. “They do things different there.” So true, and so worth taking to heart. How we do things today cannot have been done the same way in our past. I have an illustration for your reading enjoyment. Consider the following scene.

*****

“Remember that song you sang to me the night I called you?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Is there more of it?”

The corner of his mouth tipped up. “There might be. I’ll sing it for you, some time.”

“I’d love to hear it. It is one of yours, isn’t it?”

He nodded. “Wrote it the day the rest of my vision went. I kept thinking how scary it was doing things without being able to see. I remember I was trying to pour formula into the babies’ bottles, and I kept spilling it. At first, I was frustrated, because i couldn’t see that bottle’s opening. I tried using my fingers as I had been taught to do, but my fingers kept getting in the way. Then, after I got that mess cleaned up, I went looking for the girls. Missy had put them in separate walkers and closed off the stairs to the basement, so I knew they were on the main floor, but I couldn’t find them, the quiet, little boogers.”

“What did you do?”

“I sat down in the middle of the living room floor, lifted my face to heaven and told God I didn’t know how to find my own children. Told Him I didn’t think it was fare, Him asking me to work so hard. Asked Him how He expected me to be a dad, husband and teacher when I couldn’t even see to pour milk.”

“And?” I asked, when he fell silent.

“After a few minutes, I hear this rolling noise and babies laughing. Together, they came up to me, stretched out their arms toward me and said, ‘Dada, out.’ I pulled them out, one by one, sat them on my lap, bowed my head and said, ‘Lord where are you?’ Just then, Britney and Brooke wrapped their arms around my neck, and it was like the Lord said, ‘I am right here, Connor. I’m in your babies’ laughter, in their touch. I’m in the light and in the darkness. Trust me, I’m here.’ So, after Miss and I put the girls to bed that night, I pulled out my guitar and out came the song.”

“Is that how you approach your disability? Trusting God to supply the need at the moment?”

“That’s how I manage,” he said. “He knows I can’t see, and He’s planned ahead for it. Take today, He knew that girl would walk off, so He sent you to read for me.”

When he put it like that, it seemed so simple. Shifting my position, I sighed. “I wish I knew how to do that.”

“They key is to stop trying to make yesterday fit into today. History is history. What worked before won’t work now. Tell your students Monday morning to pull out their slates, and see what kind of reaction you get.”

“They’ll look at me like I’ve gone crazy,” I laughed.

“That’s because what they used for school back in the eighteen hundreds isn’t used anymore. Same way with life. The old Rae could run without thinking about it. Now, you need a special leg just for running, which, by the way, I think you should get. It doesn’t mean you can’t run; it means you have to run differently. As for me, the old Connor could look at your face and tell whether you were uncomfortable because of the storm raging outside or because I’m sitting so close to you.”

*****

Did you catch what Connor said, here? He said, “The key is to stop trying to make yesterday fit into today.” He realizes his life is different after losing his sight; what worked back then does not work now. He must search for a new way of doing things.

He tells the woman with him, “The old Rae could run without thinking about it. Now, you need a special leg just for running, which, by the way, I think you should get. It doesn’t mean you can’t run; it means you have to run differently.”

This scenario is fiction, but I think it makes a good point. If you or someone you know has recently lost their vision, then you understand, it is very difficult to learn new ways of doing things. Frequently, you may hear, “I can’t.” After a while, saying, “I can’t” leads to a belief system called, “I can’t…ever.” Pretty soon, that evolves into “If only I could, but I can’t ever.”

The remedy? Go back up there and read what Connor did after cleaning up the spilled baby formula, when he couldn’t find his twins. He gave up and called on God. Admitting we are at the end of our rope is not a crime. In fact, whatever your belief system, the first steps to a successful life as a person who is blind or visually impaired, is realizing you need help. Even for those of us who have been blind since birth, admitting on a daily basis that we don’t have all the answers keeps us encouraged.

The next step is finding someone who has the answers that you do not. Do you need to learn blindness skills? Get in touch with folks at the National Federation of the Blind or American Council of the Blind. Ask your doctor if he/she knows of any Independent Living Centers who can help you learn new ways of doing things. Then, when you have contact numbers or email addresses, get in touch with these folks. Don’t be afraid to say, “I need help.”

Finally, let go of your fear of the unknown. My daughter just finished reading in her history book about the frontiersmen and frontierswomen who crossed the Appalachian Mountains, even though they knew very little about the habitat or inhabitants beyond those mountains. The unknown is just that-unknown. It something new to learn. It is only impossible if you believe it to be.

So, y’all want to read the lyrics to Connor’s song? Well, here they are. Enjoy and be blessed, and be sure to come back next week.

*****

Connor’s Song

Sometimes, I’m in a valley low,

And, I can’t see which way to go,

Because, the way is hid from me.

But in the darkness I hear Jesus say,

“Trust me, Friend, I’m on my way.

I’ll lead you to a place where you can see.”

Sometimes, it’s up a mountain,

Sometimes, it’s walking on the sea.

Sometimes, I’m on solid ground,

But mostly, I’m on my knees.

But no matter where He’s leading,

It’s all right with me,

Because I’m trusting in the Master

Who gave me eyes to see.

Interviews to Empower Presents Maria Morais

She is quoted as saying, “Blindness can be an unsurmountable disability, or it can be just something else that is part of the human experience. Ultimately, it is up to each individual to determine how sight loss will impact his or her life.” Come join us today as we bring to you another edition of “Interviews to Empower”.

Q: What is your name, and can you tell us a little about yourself?

A: My name is Maria Morais and my family immigrated to this country when I was three years old.

Q: Are you blind or visually impaired?

A: Yes. When I was four, my parents noticed that I was having difficulty in seeing in dim light or small details. They searched for medical help for me but nothing could be done. My sight continually deteriorated until in my early twenties I lost all useable vision.

Q: What kinds of tools, strategies or advocacy about blindness have you used or pursued and why?

A: I routinely use Braille, a talking computer, a long white cane, and other devices to get everyday tasks done independently. I was very fortunate to receive some of the best training available in the United States. If it wasn't for this training I don't believe that I could accomplish everything that I have been able to do including earning two college degrees and raising my children.

Q: What have you learned about blindness that you would like to share?

A: Today I live a very normal life-I am married, I have two wonderful daughters, I have a challenging and rewarding job. I strongly believe that if I could have my sight back, my life would be different but certainly not better.

Q: You mentioned to us about a turning point in your life. Can you talk about that?

A: The turning point in my life was when I met the men and women of the National Federation of the Blind. They taught me that my blindness was not what had to define who I was and what I could do, and that it is respectable to be blind. The NFB gave me incredible role models that demonstrated what was possible. This organization took its positive attitude about blindness and created training centers that put its philosophy into practice. I made life-long friends while I was in training and they are my support network when it comes to blindness.

Q: Do you have any advice for someone who is blind or visually impaired or anything to share with someone who may be in the beginning steps of dealing with blindness?

A: I would encourage anyone experiencing sight loss to seek out the best training they can avail themselves of and to find others who have already successfully dealt with adjusting to their new situation. I sincerely hope that everyone chooses to live the life they want!

Thank you, Maria for allowing us to feature you on our blog, and thank you, faithful readers for being with us today. Don’t forget, we’re also on Facebook, so come and like our page at

www.facebook.com/adkinsandwells/

To learn more about the National Federation of the Blind, visit their website at

www.nfb.org

Have a fantastic weekend, and we’ll see you back here next Thursday..

Question of the Week

How could a community make it possible for sports and other recreational activities to be adapted so that players with and without vision can be more physically active and have equal access to such activities  in their home communities?

Goalball

Last week, we mentioned that the Adkins half of our team was out of town for a Goalball tournament. This week, Anita explains Goalball for those of us who have never played. So, put on your blindfolds and listen up.

*****

Willa lightly touched the horizontal line beneath her fingers. Her left knee on the wooden gym floor, her right knee in the air.

"Rolanda?"

Tap, tap, tap. "Over here."

Willa heard the bells jingle as the ball moved from the center to the right wing.

Good news! Rolanda rolled faster than some of the boys, but she also tended to throw out all of the time. Why would Gwana, Virginia's center, Willa's worst enemy on the court, yet her best friend off the court, pass the ball to Rolanda?

Willa heard the ball jingle. She dived toward the left, her outstretched hands cupped perfectly to embrace the ball.

"Man!" Gravity jerked her to the floor, but she fought it with all her might. Gwana had tricked her.

"Willa Catchum! You need to listen."

Willa groaned. "Sorry, Miss Ballinger." she muttered as she pushed herself up.

The sound of a shrill whistle echoed in the large room.

"Illegal coaching. Penalty, West Virginia."

Miss Ballinger snapped her fingers, like she did at practices when she was about to assign them suicide drills. Willa hated those running exercises more than she hated defending the entire court all by herself. 

"Fine. 4 can defend."

Willa sucked in a breath and slammed her fist into the floor. 4! Flora Sleep couldn't catch a ball if it was handed to her.

"But..." she began.

Snap, snap. "I said 4 will defend, Willa. I need a player who can listen."

The referee's deep voice boomed through the gym. "3 and 7 off the court."

Willa stood up and turned toward the goal. She stomped to it, nearly ramming it through her chest. They might as well just skip this penalty and give Virginia the point, with Flora defending.

*****

Goalball is a competitive sport played by players with visual impairments in grade school through adulthood. Players wear blindfolds and are situated on a tactile court with the center player slightly in front of the two wing players, forming a triangular-shaped pattern. Defense means keeping the ball from entering the goal area, a rectangular area behind the players. The goalball, shaped like a basketball, is equipped with bells so as to be heard by the players. Offense means throwing the ball across the court in an attempt to land a goal. The ball must touch the court before it reaches the highball line, or it is considered a penalty. Penalties can also be given for other reasons, such as making too much noise and touching one's blindfold. 

As a coach, I feel very helpless during a meet or the tournament. I played goalball as a youngster, and at that time, I could do something, or at least feel like I was doing something to prevent a goal. But as a coach, I cannot dive out there and catch the ball or tell a player to line up so that they do not throw out or permit a ball to roll along their angled body into the goalbox. I've written the little excerpt above to entertain you, but also to show you how the game is played and to demonstrate how a player quivers with excitement and nervousness during game play. I have been telling my students, "Listen, move, lay down."

But will they listen to that advice at tournament this weekend? Or, will they get stage fright and forget everything we've ben working on all season long?

Goalball is a fun sport that enables kids and adults with visual impairments to stay fit and to meet other people with visual impairments, and sometimes, to develop lifelong friends. Other sports, such as beep baseball, swimming, and skiing, are also playable by players who are blind or visually impaired. I would love to be actively involved in a recreational activity, but I cannot walk to the Wellness Center. There is not an adult goalball team in the small town in which I live. Coaching goalball is one way I am able to exercise. I also walk to and from work. I plan to begin participating in aerobics in our school pool after goalball ends.

Good luck to those playing in upcoming tournaments, and we’ll see you all back here next Thursday for another edition of Interviews to Empower.

School Days

Welcome to the blog. So glad you could join us today. The Adkins half of our team is out of town at a Goalball tournament, so today it’s just me, S. J. Wells. I’ve been reminiscing, thinking of those days in my childhood when I would travel 20 miles to school and back on the school bus, carry huge, braille books in a book bag and had a TVI who kept it all running smooth. Come with me down memory lane to the 1980’s.

While it was yet dark, Mom would wake me up and tell me to hurry. If she had time, she would fix breakfast before I caught the bus, but if not, she would fix it and pack it for me to eat on the way to school. Around 6:30 a.m. I climbed on a bus filled with other children with disabilities and ride 20 miles and an hour and a half to school. In first and second grade, I spent most of the day in what we called the “Resource Room”, a sectioned off room in the public school where a teacher for the visually impaired, TVI taught those of us who were blind or visually impaired. At one time, she had 6 students, but mostly there were only 3 of us. By the time I hit third grade, I was spending more time in the class with the sighted kids. At the end of the day, I boarded the bus and rode another hour and a half and 20 miles back home. Evenings must have been a struggle for my parents, me getting home around 4, homework and dinner and getting us all in bed by 8. Then, the next morning, it would begin again.

What sticks out most in my mind

1. Movies, videos and slide shows and having no one to describe what everyone else was seeing.
2. Print papers being handed to me and confused responses when I asked, “What is this?”
3. Friends who never seemed to mind when I examined their hair styles. Makes me wonder now why no one ever told me to keep my hands to myself. LOL
4. My TVI patiently copying my braille answers into print for my other teachers.
5. The field trips my TVI took us on. We went to visit a gentleman who used a talking cash register to run his vending service. That time we went to see some sheep and got to feed them. The time she took us to a bakery, and they let us decorate a cake then sent it to our school so we could eat it. The time she took us to her synagogue to visit her rabbi. The times she took us to visit a church and hear the lady play a pipe organ at Christmas. Once, she took us to the telephone company to visit a man who was blind who worked there.
6. My favorite part of the day was when we went to the school’s library. I never could read anything in it, but just the smell of books got me all excited.
7. Hating art class, because they expected me to do what all the sighted kids were doing which was coloring in the lines.
8. Typing class. Oh, how my TVI pushed learning to type. Today, I could hug her for that.
9. Gym class. We had a gym teacher back then who never acted like my disability was a bother. She always came up with ways for me to participate, even if it was just waving a paddle at the balloon in her hand.
10. Music class. Here again, we had a teacher who found ways for me to take tests and participate. I’ll never forget those silly songs we learned listening to a record player. :)

Things changed in the early 1990’s when I went to junior high, equivalent to today’s middle school. Still in public school, now I only traveled 5 minutes from my home. Still carried a heavy load of braille books, but now I often had to carry the braille writer, as well. My TVI changed, too. What didn’t change was the level of care my TVI showed toward my education. Instead of being near me in the classroom, though, this wonderful lady came only 3 times a week. By the time I hit high school, I was ready for another change. In eleventh grade I left public school to attend the WV School for the Blind in Romney, WV.

What sticks out most in my mind

1. Appearance mattered less. Who I was mattered more. After all, most of the other students at WVSB were as blind as I. The friends I made there were friends for life.
2. Sharing a room with complete strangers who became best of friends.
3. Doing my own laundry.
4. Learning to use a computer and putting those typing skills to good use.
5. Space Camp. I only went once, but I had a blast.
6. Skiing. Again, only went once, but I loved it…until I fell and did something to my knee. But, I got a free ride on a snowmobile behind a guy with some long hair. LOL
7. 5 hour long bus rides every other weekend when they sent us home for a visit. Wow, that sure taught me some patience.
8. The school library. Here again, I found a place I loved. I would go in there, grab a braille book off the shelf and just read. Sometimes, I would check out audio books, and once I even stayed in there and read some in the braille encyclopedia.
9. Cooking class. Back then, we had actual home economics, and I was taught to knit, sew, clean and cook. My last cooking assignment was to cook a meal for my senior class. We had chili, peanut butter sandwiches, chips, mints and assorted nuts (left over from our prom) and white cake with white icing for dessert. I like to say it all started with a box of macaroni and cheese.
10. O&M. Yes, I was taught orientation and mobility while in public school, but I learned it at WVSB, too. I remember the day I successfully made it from my dorm to the McDonalds off campus.

Experiences at both a residential school for the blind and public school were vastly different for me. However, neither was all bad or all good. I’m thankful for the opportunity to experience the  pluses and minuses of both.

In closing, I want to be sure you realize how much those of you who are TVI’s impact the lives of your students. Many of those field trips my TVI took us on while I was in elementary school stayed with me. I want to give my own children opportunities like those I had. I want to be a teacher like those I had who were innovative in coming up with different ways of doing things. I want to push my children and those of you reading this blog to realize that whether you can see or not, you can do anything you set your mind to. So, TVI’s keep teaching, keep caring; what you do matters. And, to those who I mentioned, albeit not by name, God bless you for caring about me, not as just a student but as a person. I am who I am today, because you were a teacher who cared.

Question of the Week

Was there a time in your life when you were afraid to try something new? Explain.

The Woman Behind the Book, Anita Adkins

Her desire is to be a role model, helping others who are blind to live a life filled with joy and success. Her mission is to help sighted people understand, blindness does not mean failure or inability. Discover the author behind the children’s book, “A Brother’s Love”, Anita Adkins.

Born with Optic Atrophy and Retinitis Pigmentosa, or RP, both Anita and her brother have been blind since birth. Wanting her children to excel in school, her mother and a few other members of her family moved from their home in Lincoln County, WV to Romney, WV so Anita and her brother could attend the WV School for the Blind. It turned out to be the best decision her mother could have made. Anita graduated from WVSB in 1996 as valedictorian of her class.

Many of the experiences she had at WVSB shaped her beliefs about blindness and independence, even when she wasn’t aware. “I remember,” she says, “When I was a kid, I used to help walk the littler kids to school each morning. The ground on one such day was very snowy, and I was so afraid of getting lost that I cried.  But, another student walked back and helped me. Now, I am a confident traveler, and  snow doesn't stop me from getting out.  I have learned that I don't have to stay on an exact route. It is okay to be to the right or to the left, as long as I am headed within a general direction and paying attention to other safety concerns, such as making sure I am on the sidewalk instead of in the street.”

“I was taught skills that I can carry over to many different tasks,” she says. “For example, one time, I showed up at the wrong classroom for my Spanish class at West Virginia University at Parkersburg, or WVUP, and only realized it after the instructor started talking about human development. Another time, I tried to make tuna noodle casserole, and it turned out to be tuna bread.”

Never one to give up, Anita’s motto should be, “Keep trying until success.” Anything that can be done with vision can also be done without vision; it is just done differently and sometimes, accommodations are necessary.

Greatest accomplishment? Greatest challenge?

“My greatest accomplishment was graduating from college because in addition to the academics at which I excel, I also had to intern at a public school. This proved to me, I could be successful in a sighted world.  My greatest challenge is accessing print and other visual information and traveling to locations outside walking distance. There are solutions to these challenges. I view my blindness as just part of who I am, and I use whatever tools and techniques I need too as part of living a happy and productive life.

Currently, Anita teaches braille and coaches goal ball.  In the past, she worked as a blindness skills instructor at a rehabilitation agency for the blind and as a seamstress in the sewing department of the same agency.  Prior to that, she was a production assistant in which she proof read braille and tested websites for accessibility/usability. She enjoys reading, writing, playing word games, and spending time with family and friends. She has two cats, Tiger Lee and Whiskers Elizabeth. She decided to work in the blindness field, because she wants to share what she has learned through trial and error and through formal training with others traveling a similar path. She wants them to know, people who are blind can be independent and happy and can support themselves, if they receive training in blindness skills and have a positive attitude about blindness.

Thus, her very first book, “A Brother’s Love”. Written for children in grades 3 to 6, it is intended mainly for siblings of kids who are blind or for those who know someone who is blind However, all will enjoy reading of Cody’s desire to protect the brother he loves so much. Cody’s brother, Joey lost his sight as a result of a car accident.  When a man shows up wanting Joey to go away to a camp for blind kids and also hoping to spend time teaching Joey blindness skills, Cody is scared and tries to prevent Joey from going to camp. Only $2.99, “A Brother’s Love” is available on kindle from Amazon. Anita wrote this book because she wants people who are sighted to realize, with proper training and a positive outlook, people, regardless of their disabilities can be and do whatever they want.

Anita has also written a manual to teach Unified English Braille, or UEB, because she did not  have a curriculum in her classroom that teaches the new code. She has written other educational-type narratives that teach about blindness, as well.

“If I were to give any advice to our readers, “Anita says, “it would be, advocate for yourself, no matter your challenges. Embrace the techniques and skills that will help to make you successful. Find a way to make the lives of other people better, using your own skills and talents.  And, have fun!

To get in touch with Anita, you can send her an email at adkinsandwells@gmail.com

Thank you for spending time with us today. Be sure and come back next Thursday, as we blog here once a week.